It's 4:25am and I'm caught in a bind.
The doctor stressed how important it is to NOT GET CONSTIPATED. Well, I've been taking stool softeners, eating prunes, drinking apple cider, eating high fiber everything, drinking water and you know what, still can't get myself to pass a bowel movement.
I think it's because Percocet is a very constipating drug. Anyway, the problem is that I've got a deal with the devil. I need to take Percocet every three hours, because if not, I am awake in tons of pain. But if I take it, I can't go defecate. And I really want to do that. And I've never understood Asher Yatzar like this before, and all I can think is that if I can't get this to work, I'm gonna have to have an enema and oh my God, I really don't want that.
But I have to take the pain meds because otherwise it starts jackknifing up to a crazy degree, and then I can't handle it, so I take my Percocet after some existential anguish, and then I try gulping down some water and hoping that maybe sometime today I can defecate.
Yeah, I never thought all my prayers would be directed towards a bowel movement, either.
Man, am I not in a happy place right now.