Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Catharsis

My husband bought me white roses, just like those that had made up my wedding bouquet.

He bought me a beautiful card that said 'To a special lady on a special day' that spoke about how much he loved and cherished me.

We both said the Yom Kippur Vidui where we asked God to forgive our sins, just like we said on the day of our wedding at the Mincha afternoon prayers.

We lit beautiful scented candles in our bedroom.

Then we dilated me with the large dilator and the dildo, 10 minutes each. We made it into a bit of a game, incorporating it into foreplay.

And then we slipped him inside me. And tears started in his eyes. Because he was in me. And I was smiling. And he wasn't hurting me.

And then we made love. Pain-free, happy, all consuming love. And we cried in each others' arms. Because this was holy and our marriage now bound us in a new and important way. And because we were letting go of the pain and walking into a new life, a new world of possibilities.

A world where our marriage was whole.
And consummated.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

So happy for you!

The Hedyot said...

Wonderful, wonderful news.
So happy for both of you.
May your love for each other only grow stronger.

%Shocked% said...

Having read almost every post of yours, I was ecstatic to hear that you were successful and wish you and your husband a long and healthy life together, enjoying all of the pleasures that G-d intended for us to have with our time on this Earth.

Anonymous said...

I wept reading this.

Rafi G. said...

thats wonderful. I am happy you two stuck it out through the tough times and eventually worked it all out successfully

Anonymous said...

This post filled me with happiness. Finally! So great for you. What will become of the blog now? :)

Meira said...

So wonderful! Congrats!

JB said...

Hi I just happened to land on your blog while surfing the Jewish Blogosphere and to quite frank water welled up in my eyes when I learned of your success.Yours is the second fairy tale come true in our world that I learned of this week. The other is an orthodox couple who after 2 years of marriage with a baby divorced. That's not the happy part. That was 8 years ago. The joyous part is that they are getting re-married tomorrow. MAZEL TOV to all

Velvel Belkin said...

I am very happy for you . What is happening on this blog from now on , please don't close it because I have really enjoyed reading it.

Boxed Whine said...

I am really really happy for you. I would understand why the blog would end here, but I wish it won't.

Stuck in Shidduchim said...

Mazal Tov !! Extremely happy for you !
It's amazing to see that all the therapies (including blogging) brought about true happiness.

May you be zoche to happiness and success in your marriage.

Wow, I don't even know you and I'm so excited for you !!

Please please don't stop blogging, I love your blog and how you manage to put such strong feelings into word and how emotions transpire from every sentence

Anonymous said...

A very beautiful and thoughtful way to move into this stage of your marriage. I hope you keep posting about how you deal with any residual issues or conflicts you might experience, or at least a post summing up the arc of your experiences - what went wrong, what went right etc. I'm sure it will be of help to others going through the same thing.

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog and checking every single day since your last post. I am crying for how happy I am for you. IY"H One day I will be married and will be able to find a husband as wonderful as yours. This week when I lit shabbos candles, I asked a special Bracha that hashem will help you along in this journey so that you and your husband will be able to consummate.

All the love in the world for you both. I am giving you a virtual hug.

still waiting said...

its all been said by the others but i want to repeat, great news and please dont end your blog. you are more honest than anyone else and its worthwhile to continue.

adena said...

so happy for you! congrats!!! really appreciate your honesty about this whole situation. keep on blogging!

scarpetta said...

very happy for you....

Your writing is lovely, but if you want to end your blog, it's ok... I just hope you keep it posted for other women with the same problem.

Emesdik said...

Similar to many other commenters, I also shed a tear. So happy for you and your husband.

Yael Hanover said...

YAY!!!

Shlomo Yitzhak said...

Could anything be happier than this wonderful update!! My wife and I are so thrilled for you both. Enjoy each other to the max.

Tania said...

Mazal Tov!

Anonymous said...

I've been checking back to read this post. Mazel Tov!! I hope you have a wonderful and beautiful marriage.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog since it was linked on metafilter and came to truly care for your situation. Add me to the growing list of readers to get tears in my eyes! Have a happy, healthy, beautiful life!

plonit said...

Mazal tov!! So, so happy for you <3

Anonymous said...

Congrats

I only ask you change the name of the blog to HAPPY JEWISH GIRL

Devorah said...

Mazel Tov!

Your post is the perfect, happy ending to a wonderful day. I truly hope and pray for the best for you and your husband from Hashem!

Yeah!

I'm so happy for you I could jump around and scream :)

Molly said...

Mazel Tov!!!!!!!!!!

Sora said...

Mazal tov!

I'm so happy for you both! :)

But as everyone else said, don't stop blogging! You don't need to keep sharing your sex life, but raising awareness of these issues continues to be important, so please don't stop here.

Frankenblog said...

I hope you've been making up for lost time! (And that's why there hasn't been an update in a few days).

Congrats!

Anonymous said...

I'm so very happy for both you and your husband. I've been reading your blog for a while, and although I never had to endure the specific problem you have, I felt a lot of kinship for you. I am from a similar background to you, but only finally met and married my wonderful husband when I was 34 - so you can appreciate that was a different kind of 'not fitting' the Orthodox world we come from, although mine was more obvious and not hidden, and a different kind of pain.

I have been glad for you all along that this did happen to you in a committed, happy relationship, because I imagine the issue of vaginismus must be far worse to deal with if you are single/not in a loving relationship and then find it happening to you. I can imagine avoiding dealing with the problem - and avoiding any kind of relationship - because of it. You had and have what is clearly a strong and wonderful marriage within which to deal with this painful issue. Obviously it would have been better for you if you hadn't had to deal with it at all, but I believe this was the best situation within which to have to deal with it.

I wish you and your husband years of discovery and pleasure and love with each other. I had tears in my eyes as I read this post.

Anonymous said...

Mozel Tov! I've been keeping up with you for a couple of months now and had goosebumps when I read that you two finally succeeded. KEEP BLOGGING! You are an intriguing window into the community and I think you have important insight to share. Good luck you two.

Anonymous said...

I am nineteen years old, and not married yet. But I really felt for you when I read all your posts. And this one made me cry.

Aurie said...

I am crying! So very happy for you and your husband for being able to finally experience this beautiful joining and to enjoy it! Praise G-d!

Gabble Gook said...

Just found your blog and started at the beginning. I have happy tears in my eyes. YAAAY!!! I'm so happy for you.