tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post1218662105861070956..comments2023-09-12T02:20:32.304-07:00Comments on Unconsummated: FightSad Jewish Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17838326460495637726noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-83897282822210342582012-04-05T00:45:41.751-07:002012-04-05T00:45:41.751-07:00I wish that you were not facing this very difficul...I wish that you were not facing this very difficult situation. My heart goes out to you both.<br /><br />I have not read your entire blog from day 1, so please forgive me if I'm asking a redundant question. Have you considered (or sought) sex therapy? Or couples counseling? I wonder if this would be helpful for you.<br /><br />Thank you so much for having such courage as to tell your story with such openness and honesty.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-74050204345696987682012-04-04T19:06:16.263-07:002012-04-04T19:06:16.263-07:00I agree that he may have been intentionally tender...I agree that he may have been intentionally tender so that you would feel loved and not used. It's just such a complicated situation. People are complicated. Life is complicated. --YCFAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-11024240962693797302012-04-04T09:34:52.581-07:002012-04-04T09:34:52.581-07:00It's interesting for me to read this because m...It's interesting for me to read this because my husband can get very passionate during sex and I would much rather he were tender! The passion actually makes it painful for me... At any rate, it's not very clear from what you wrote whether you guys communicated (verbally) about what works and doesn't work for each of you. Even in a "normal" sexual relationship it's extremely important to be clear about what you want/don't want the other person to be doing, that's the only way it can become pleasurable for both sides. You know, unless you have superpowers of knowing what the other wants without being told. :) Good luck SJG, I know this can't be easy for you, but just keep communicating because every marriage needs that desperately.Nesyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08468833816918865656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-59031357884433888032012-04-04T04:18:14.581-07:002012-04-04T04:18:14.581-07:00Uiger, that is puzzling. It's also puzzling as...Uiger, that is puzzling. It's also puzzling as to how your husband is supposed to know that being tender doesn't turn you on. Did you share this information with him? Did it occur to you that maybe he was trying to be tender so as not hurt you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-82390047834917701872012-04-03T22:09:50.426-07:002012-04-03T22:09:50.426-07:00I understand that it's not your fault and I wi...I understand that it's not your fault and I wish you the greatest success in your struggle. I am just puzzled that you expect your husband to be passionate when it doesn't sound like you were passionate at all. It doesn't make sense that your husband would be passionate and/or excited when you're just lying there staring at the ceiling, or when he knows it hurts you and there's a thousand things you'd rather be doing.Uigurhttp://feministswithfsd.wordpress.com/2009/03/28/vaginismus-a-response-to-open-sesame/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-88323399050974620512012-04-03T21:58:01.637-07:002012-04-03T21:58:01.637-07:00Perhaps he meant he does not feel loved by you. No...Perhaps he meant he does not feel loved by you. Not that he cannot feel loved by you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5174333506398573874.post-28901370690747860402012-04-03T21:56:55.923-07:002012-04-03T21:56:55.923-07:00The difference is that in the paraplegic marriage ...The difference is that in the paraplegic marriage there is nothing the wife can do about it. This is different from a situation in which the wife can do something about it but chooses not to. One is prioritizing lack of short-term physical or emotional pain over marriage while the other is not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com